Virus in the Brain

28 04 2012

I received a call from a female who could barely speak English, she claimed to call me from Ottawa, the capital of Canada. She said she called because I had a virus in my computer. After trying to establish the conversation, she handed me over to someone who uttered a few more words resembling English. He gave me the same line saying I had a virus and he was following up with a phone call. He claimed he worked for Microsoft, but after much prodding, I discovered he was from an unknown independent company, if it was even a company. He gave me a command, go on my computer and see the virus. He claimed he called for my benefit; he would remove this virus from my computer for a nominal fee. I thought to myself, these people are probably the ones who planted the virus initially only to remove it.

At this point, the only place I saw a virus was in his brain. Feeling cheeky, I told him my satellite detected a boogie man in his closet and for a nominal fee paid through paypal to: removeboogiemanfromyourclosetNOW@hotmail.com, I could have the boogie man removed. He then asked me what a boogie man was. Clearly this person was not from North America. And if he just emigrated, there was something still wrong with his story. He wanted to get into my computer and charge me for it. Which of the two was worse I couldn’t tell.

Ever seen movies where there’s a heist? Characters are usually ex cons, they are highly skilled in cracking codes, opening safes, getting through laser security, and they come together as a group to steal a painting, diamonds, or some antique relic. There’s one common thread in all these movies. They are all serious professionals who hatch a plan and study very carefully and practise the heist over and over. They study maps, architectural layouts of the building with ducts, and underground passageways, the placement of security cameras, the schedule of security, so forth. They are meticulous in their study as if it was the dismantling of a nuclear bomb. On the day of the heist they are all dressed in black, or in masks; they are a highly trained operation. I have often wondered, with the amount of training, they could have a legitimate job. They would be great in the Special Forces, FBI, and so forth. Yet they spend their time practising to steal. The amount of time spent being a thief is harder than working a legitimate job.  Which makes me wonder: why are people corrupt?

If people have the brains to hatch a plan, for example, plant a virus only to remove it, why can’t they do something more productive? Like write a software program. This obviously takes just as much time. In fact, being illegitimate takes more time, just ask the person behind bars.

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